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I am Eric’s Wife. I am also mother to two teenagers on the very cusp of adulthood, the founding director of Scripture from the Heart, an avid world watcher, bold and insecure at once. I serve a merciful God and I love a guy who makes my knees weak. This is where I write about it all.  Thank you for reading!

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Story Time: You take off YOUR Sunglasses

June 10, 2020
The view from our tent on the first night in New Mexico.

We still talk about that summer. We have tried to recreate that trip more than a few times, but came up fruitless.

It was the summer of 2017. Our kids were at a youth trip and Eric had taken two weeks off work. We loaded the car up with a tent and a cooler and hit the road. It. Was. Magic.

This trip started my tradition of having a bucket list of pictures I wanted to take: Santa Fe trains, rusted out cars, old buildings, you know, standard road trip must see items.

Eric dutifully searched for my must haves and pulled over, even if he had to do a six mile highway u-turn. We had no pressing engagements. The journey was the destination. We were like giddy newlyweds, except way better. Magic.

On the first day, we were going to camp, but it poured rain and so we stayed at a little family owned motel that was immaculately clean and not updated since 1972.

After that, we took our time driving through west Texas, into New Mexico, and on up to Colorado, where we found the best campsite in the world and spent 3 or 4 nights.



We cooked our food over a campfire, drove to touristy towns for seeing the sights, eating at the cafes, and then would drive back to our little piece of heaven.

These pictures make me so nostalgic for that time that I almost forget the one story from that trip that Eric and I quote pretty often. It wasn’t the countless conversations we had, lying in our tent and listening to sounds of night creatures, the hours we spent staring at campfire, driving through flat lands of west Texas. No. We have forgotten every word of those talks.

One bucket list item that I could not find was a windmill. Now, it couldn’t just be any windmill.

It had to be an old wooden windmill with rusted metal blades and surrounded by tall overgrowth of trees, grass, and vines.

We saw windmills, some close, but none perfect. There was a windmill near our campsite that was all the things I wanted, except it was near power lines, so the angle would be very tricky to take the picture and not include the lines. As we were leaving our enchanted campsite to come back to real life in Texas, Eric stopped so I could try. He sat in the car while I got out and walked around, trying to figure it out. I took several pictures, never quite liking what I had. Eric was telling me to try it this way or that. Finally, he offered, “Try taking your sunglasses off!”

Done standing in direct sunlight while he sat, pampered in the AC, giving me advice on a thing I was doing and he was not, I offered, “Take YOUR sunglasses off!”

I got back in the car and we knew that the magic had died. We’d had our first fight of our lovely trip.

And then, we cracked up laughing. I don’t have a picture of that windmill, but I’ll never forget it.

Advice: How to Calm Concerns if You are Bill Gates

June 9, 2020

This will be a very specific piece of advice, but it could very likely be used by just about any one of us if we find ourselves needing to explain to a hyper anxious crowd that we mean them no harm.

Vaccines as a means of immunotherapy have their place and I know society benefits. Also, vaccines. are. immunotherapy. and each one should be well researched and studied for efficacy before adding it to the immune system’s work load. Does it help or hinder? People are not wrong to ask questions. In fact, raising questions is an obligation of anyone who is piloting a body around that they intend to operate for a hundred years or so.

Bill Gates is a multi-billionaire, recognized monopolizer, socially awkward, web search monopolizer, artificial meat financier, vaccine financier, advocate for reproductive health services for all (read: abortions and sterilization. I mean, really, Melinda.), and also, he gives billions to charity- and he owns the charity. In the wake of COVID 19, Bill showed up everywhere, like he was the doctor of the world and his opinion was standard. Also, he released and almost immediately deleted a love letter of a documentary to his dear friend Marina Abramovic. If you saw it, and you are aware of her work, you know why he took it down right away, but you also might wonder why he featured her at all.

When Bill Gates emerged as captain of S.S. Save America From Climate Change, Disease, and Overpopulation, there was a large portion of the public who said, “Oh look! It’s that harmless billionaire computer genius who could just buy an island and retire, but instead he is spending his money and time to save us!!” There was also a large portion of the public who said, “Wait. Isn’t that the shady billionaire who thinks we need to reduce the population by many millions in order to save the planet? Isn’t he some sort of computer genius savant? What do you suppose is in those vaccines?”

To calm fears, Bill Gates said it was laughable to think he had anything to do with microchips that could be implanted into people using vaccines. Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, nothing to do with microchips. Calm down, guys.

I am not concerned that there is some sort of elite ruling class goal to microchip us all. I am more concerned that a billionaire who made his billions by monopolizing the computer industry is now the chief investor in a vaccine industry that will make him even more billionaire-y. I’m not saying he is up to no good, I’ve never met him and I don’t know, but I do think he should read the room a little better before he calls concerns “laughable”.

So, my advice on how calm concerns if you are Bill Gates: Own it. Just own every bit of it. Say something like, “Hey guys. I am a every bit the nerd and number cruncher you think I am. I see how you might connect certain dots in my past to my present activities. No lol here. I really do see how you might think that I am like that kid Billy from The Incredibles. I cannot assure you that I am not an evil billionaire who has fingers in all kinds of population lowering efforts. What I can do is stop talking about population control and vaccines in the same sentence. I see now that that was a weird word choice.” Also, wear jeans and flip flops, maybe grow a soul patch on your chin.

This concludes my advice on how to calm concerns if you are Bill Gates. If this doesn’t work, and you are Bill Gates, your second option is to just manipulate Google searches and headlines using your many billions of dollars.

What’s on Your Mind?

All people meditate. All.

Meditation as a spiritual practice where you clear your head completely of all thought is very vogue these days and I suspect a lot of people think that meditation is a complicated process that requires just right conditions – yoga pants, incense, a candle, Enya, whatever.

I think the popularity of “clear the mind” meditation has made a lot of people all the more unaware of what meditation actually is and how they slip into it throughout the day, every day.

Stripped down, meditation is the simple focusing of thought to one single point and then staying there for a good long time until the thought or feeling takes a strong hold on your person. If you have ever spent 20 minutes of quiet time recalling something awful someone said to you and all the things you should say in return, and you focus on that thought, you meditated. You meditated on a person who was rude to you. Weird flex, but you do you.

Have you ever noticed how you wake up with the meditations from the night before still heavy on you? You might think that you are going through a rough time and that is why your mind is in a constant state of acknowledging it, but, what if you are living a life that is just regular rough and you can’t see anything else because you meditate on nothing but the worst parts?

I started memorizing bulk Scripture more than a decade ago. I began doing this work as a kind of personal challenge, to help teach Bible classes, and also to show off at parties. I sincerely had no intention of this work being one of my most prized tools of spiritual maturing. I did not know that I was, in fact , meditating on the Word when I was memorizing.

I started with the book of Ruth, followed by Jonah, 5 chapters of Genesis, Esther, 4 chapters of Isaiah, Micah, most of Mark, some of John, couple chapters of Luke, James, 1,2,3 John. What’s funny is, I know I am forgetting some. Oh, irony.

By the time I got to working on Isaiah, I was aware that I was meditating on God’s Word – more than that, I was meditating on the mind of God. For about an hour a day I would sit and work on memorizing, and then I would spend the rest of my day recalling the words. My mind was not recalling failures from 2nd grade, grocery lists, news of the day, whatever. My mind was focused on just those words.

By the time I got to James, I was convinced, and remain convinced, that all Christians should be meditating on Scripture. Reading it only goes so deep. Hearing it goes only so deep. Memorizing it causes it to seep into my marrow.

God tells us to meditate on his Word, and Jesus says that he will use the Holy Spirit to remind us of the Word. How can the Holy Spirit remind you of a thing you only ever skimmed? Give him something to work with.

People are really angry these days. They are doing a whole lot of meditating on the things that make them angry, hurt, vengeful, guilty. They take the words of prophet news castors, preachers, and YouTubers and they memorize the words, meditate on them, repeat them to each other, and then spew their anger.

From the mouth comes the overflow of the heart. What are you stuffing in there? May the meditation of my mind and the words of my mouth be pleasing to you, o LORD.