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I am Eric’s Wife. I am also mother to two teenagers on the very cusp of adulthood, the founding director of Scripture from the Heart, an avid world watcher, bold and insecure at once. I serve a merciful God and I love a guy who makes my knees weak. This is where I write about it all.  Thank you for reading!

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Know Thy Number

July 23, 2020

Some years ago I was reading an article about data storage. I don’t recall who wrote or what the “so what?” was of it. What I remember crystal clear was the story she told about her experience with personal data collection.

The writer was a journalist tasked with researching how personal information is stored and used by different companies. She decided to use her own self as a case study. As the story goes, she had a two year membership in an online dating site. She visited the site an average of once a week, offering bits of information here and there. To write her article, she went through a multiple hoops with the dating website to finally have them give her a copy of every bit of information they had on her. She printed it all out and it filled an office conference room with cartons of document.

Everything went fuzzy on me when I saw the picture of that conference room. So. Many. Boxes. And the stunner of it to me was that this was only one website. What if she got the same documents from Google? Facebook? The mind reels.

My initial thought was that, after 25 years of internet use, I could fill about three warehouses with documents, and I bet I’m grossly underestimating. I pictured those warehouses and then it occurred to me that those warehouses exist. Somewhere, in digital form, every bit of information about me exists. It chilled me. I’ve told Google every one of my darkest secrets. The internet knows every possible thing about me, to the point where it can now predict correctly what I’m thinking about.

Just as I was about to fall into a pit of anxiety about what the 1984 just happened, I had a second thought.




And He loves me.

God knows the me that I don’t even know. That’s terrifying; until I remember the dual reality that God knows me and He loves me. He has seen every millisecond of my life; every failure, every twisting of His Word, every swear, every casual back stab, every tainted good, and still, He loves me.

I took an Enneagram test today, after years of side eye for it. I dearly love people who highly esteem the Enneagram, so I want to be careful in sharing my thoughts. When I got my results, there was an offer at the bottom of the e-mail to take an Enneagram class to “help you learn more about yourself and others.” That quote, together with my thoughts about data collection, sealed my continued side eye.

God knows me. Every last detail. And, this is key, He defines who I am. Studying the results of the Enneagram for personal growth seemed to me to be about as helpful as taking down one of the cartons of documents on me in those 3 warehouses and studying just that box.

If you are a huge fan of the Enneagram, feel free to brush me off. I don’t want to try and talk anyone out of it. BUT, if you are like me and wouldn’t mind finding out what God knows about you, but you don’t feel comfortable about God+something else, here is what I do: I meditate on His Word. That’s it. I meditate on it and He tells me who I am, who you are, how I respond to you, how I should respond to you, why I act the way I do, why you act the way you do.

Enneagram if you must, but, if you are a Christian, do due diligence with time in your Bible.

For the Ennegram fans who are still with me, you’ll not be surprised to hear I am almost equally and heavily an 8 and a 5. See if that helps you figure out why I still have side eye. Are 8s side eye types? Maybe? I love you and I care. Zero judgement from me, but lots of opinions.

Tell me what you think! Let's talk about it.