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I am Eric’s Wife. I am also mother to two teenagers on the very cusp of adulthood, the founding director of Scripture from the Heart, an avid world watcher, bold and insecure at once. I serve a merciful God and I love a guy who makes my knees weak. This is where I write about it all.  Thank you for reading!

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On Leaving Childhood

June 17, 2020

During a recent attempt to make me crack, Spotify threw an Enya song about mothers at me. It all started with a peppy “sail away, sail away, sail away” while I washed dishes, and then suddenly I was sobbing while loading towels into the washing machine and Enya sirened,

“May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh, how far you are from home”

I was powerless. I took a long moment to deep breathe before knocking on my daughter’s door to a-a-a-ask h-h-h-er if she had any t-t-t-t-ow- ahem- t-t-towels she needed wa-wa-wa-wasssshhhhed.

I really believed I was going to be a stoic like a palace guard when it came to these months where a child’s departure from the home is imminent. I mean, this is precisely why we raise them, wreck them, build them, apologize to them, grow with and before them, and this leaving is a good sign that we did okay.

A thing I often hear people say of and to their aging children is, “I can’t wait to see what God is going to do with you.” I cringe every time I hear this, because I already know what life is going to do. Life is going to load my child up with failures, wrong turns, landmines, random trauma, disease, heartbreak, and unimaginable loss. And, what is God going to do? He is going to not waste a single bit of the agony and let it burn her up with a refining fire. I know he will redeem her life and bring it up from the pit. But, I also know there will be a pit. And so, I cry while washing towels. And I weep while driving to the store. I can wait to see what God is going to do with my child, even as I trust God implicitly.

Her name is Fireborn Faith. Ready to launch.

One response to “On Leaving Childhood”

  1. Jessica Dennington says:

    I feel every word you wrote.

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