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I am Eric’s Wife. I am also mother to two teenagers on the very cusp of adulthood, the founding director of Scripture from the Heart, an avid world watcher, bold and insecure at once. I serve a merciful God and I love a guy who makes my knees weak. This is where I write about it all.  Thank you for reading!

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Advice: How to Destroy Your Family’s Love of Peanut Butter

June 25, 2020

Now, aside from allergies, I can hear you asking, “But, Amy, why on earth would you want to destroy your family’s love of America’s favorite sandwich go to? Think about the cookies!!” And to you, I’d say that I did not set out to destroy my family’s love of peanut butter, but I did so with great success and I want to share my complete victory here. Maybe you are a mother who has made a thousand PB&Js and you are done. Whatever your reason is for wanting to destroy your family’s love of peanut butter, read on. Let’s learn something together.

It all started with me thinking that I had exceptional skill in the kitchen. I do all right behind the stove, and 20 years at it has seen lots of practice. Not once, even that time I substituted orange drink for orange juice in an orange chicken recipe, has my family cried uncle. But then, the day came when I had 1.5 pounds of beef tips, too much peanut butter, and Google. Enter: Thai Peanut Beef.

The sauce was a mix of peanut butter, soy sauce, brown sugar, ginger, Sriracha sauce, and a touch more peanut butter because it looked like it needed it. The recipe was for stir fry, but, who has time? What I did, and what you should definitely do if you want to heed my advice, is to put it all in the crockpot. Set on “Low” so it can slow cook all day for maximum effect.

This is the part where science that I can’t understand and can’t explain takes over. Your house will smell like a peanut butter cookie. All of the spices you added to the peanut butter will be absorbed by the beef tips. After several hours, you will feel like you can test a piece of meat for doneness. One bite and you will be convinced that you have hit recipe gold and your family is going to be begging for Mom’s Thai Peanut Beef for special treat meals. But, don’t buy the plaque just yet.

The recipe will give you options for serving. Some serve this meal over a ginger spiced salad, some use rice, but still others like to use pasta. In my case, I had recently made an excessive spaghetti noodle purchase at Costco during the great toilet paper and pasta rationing of 2020 episode we had, right before the murder hornet episode. I decided to go with spaghetti noodles, and you should, too, if you want to win this challenge.

Time to serve your family. Oh boy. They have been smelling peanut butter all day, the beef tip taste test was a major win, mouths are watering, the darlings can hardly wait. In your best dinnerware, slop out a generous pile of pasta and then use a ladle (yes, you want to be sure they get lots of sauce) to drench the pasta with peanut sauce and beef tips.

Remember that mysterious science we covered earlier? Here is where it will pack its punch. The beef tips are tolerable and eaten with no complaint. The pasta, the sauce, oh you, that sauce. What you served your family turned out to be spaghetti noodles with hot peanut butter and bits of spicy beef tips. I don’t mean spicy peanut butter, that might have saved the day, I mean just hot, melty peanut butter.

As proof that my advice here is solid, Eric just walked in on me searching for stock images of peanut butter for this post, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? PLEASE NO!!”

I hope this advice has been helpful. You are very welcome.

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