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About Eric’s Wife

Some may say I am a "Stay at home Mom," but that is not even close. I am Eric's Wife. I have exhilarating strokes of genius, followed almost immediately by paralyzing pangs of self doubt and, for whatever reason, here is where I blog about it - warts and all. I serve a merciful God with a clumsy hand and at the end of each day I go to sleep thankful to be His servant and Eric's wife.

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Seriously, though

December 15, 2011

Can we talk about sin for a minute?  Easy.  Wipe that spewed coffee off your screen.  I don’t want to haul your sin out in the spotlight.  I want to haul mine out, not all of them – just the one big one.  Don’t we all have one or two “big ones?”

Let’s pretend like my sin is a boulder sized something covered in a tarp and sitting in the center of a boxing ring with a spotlight that illuminates nothing in the room but my boulder sized sin.  Can you see it?  I hope you’ve made it huge, cause it is.  Now, I have others, but they are nicely stored away in my “over that” history file.  But this one… this one I have to revisit from time to time.  Not to re-commit it, mind you, but to remember the grief and celebrate the mercy extended to me by God through Christ.

If I were to make a detailed public confession and rip off that tarp, I suspect I would receive one of three responses: 1) That’s not so bad.  2) That’s the worst thing ever! 3) Me too.    It is easy to suspect I would get such responses because I have gotten these three responses over the years whenever I let someone have a peek.

I do not carry this single episode of sin with me as a heavy burden, because I do fully believe that God has forgiven me.  However, there is no unringing a bell and the damage caused by sin has to be managed on some level.

The reason I want to keep it covered in this public arena, and for this conversation, is because I want to be able to speak to each of those three opinions of my big, awful, wicked and deliberate sin without making it about the act of sin itself.  My hope is that, by addressing these three responses, we can have an honest discussion of how we respond to our own sin and that of others.

1) That’s not so bad.   The fact is that ALL sin is that bad.  One big lesson I have learned by having to bear the heart scar of a single episode of boulder sized sin, is that my condemnation is not based on the fact that I have a boulder.  My condemnation is based on the fact that I was born with a quarry for a nature.  All sin is a departure from God.  There is no middle road.  We are born with an immediate need to have the punishment of  sin removed.

2) That’s the worst thing ever!  This is my own personal response.  This is not a notion far removed from #1, because it is still assuming that sin has degrees.  I cannot pretend that I am a good person with just the one big boulder, because then that would make light of the condition that caused me to collect the boulder in the first place.  I was not rescued from the boulder.  I was rescued from the condition.  So, go ahead and imagine the worst possible thing that could be under that tarp  and nothing you can picture is so big as to cast a shadow on the enormity of the sin condition I was in before Christ.  Making big of single episodes of sin makes light of the sin condition.

3)  Me too.  I want you to go ahead and think of your own personal boulder.  Whatever it is, whatever its size, however ugly it may be, I want you to know that “me too.”  Whatever you did, I did too.  I can say this because there is no sin greater or lesser than another.  Nothing you can ever do will make your burden of sin greater than mine.

I suppose if there was one big thought I would like to see evolve from this exercise, I would like for it to be that we should stop making a big deal about single episodes of sin and start making a big deal about the sin condition that leads to those episodes.   It is not really the single episodes of sin that we want to protect our kids from, it is the heart condition that leads to those episodes that we want to guard against.

If you have an undealt with boulder, go tell someone and put a light on it, but remember that it is not the boulder that condemns you and it never was.

 

(I was reading 1 John 1 this morning and that is what led me to this line of thinking.  Follow the link and read it yourself.  Good news!)

2 responses to “Seriously, though”

  1. Yep. That darn sin condition colors everything, doesn’t it? So glad that He is faithful and just and forgives me.

  2. Sarah Lee says:

    I’m still carrying my boulder.

    I’m tired.