About two months ago I started to experience the symptoms of a Multiple Sclerosis relapse. I kept thinking that it would subside soon enough and I could get back to my regular self.
It just hasn’t happened and I want to share with you some of my thoughts about that.
I have known for as long as I’ve known about the MS that it could get worse. I would be lying if I told you that I am one hundred percent at peace with that reality.
After many years of walking unaided, I recently took advantage of Wal-Mart’s courtesy scooter. It was a really big deal to me. I have always figured that such a thing was akin to giving up hope of returning to normal.
Since then, I have given up walking outside my home, except when necessary. I see the benefit that it is to my family that I save energy. I am still able to prepare meals, clean my home, school the children, and be available to Eric.
Suddenly, not walking makes sense.
Can I be honest and tell you that I HATE that it makes sense? I hate that it makes sense that I should have special parking and fat handled toothbrushes and low heeled, sensible shoes and plastic cups. I hate that I have now fantasized about getting my own scooter.
There are a lot of reasons that I wanted to be so honest about how I feel about this. I have a good attitude because I have responsibilities that require me to. But sometimes people mistake a good attitude for feeling good and happy with circumstances. I do not feel good and I am not happy with my circumstances.
I wanted you to know because this spell has affected my ability to write freely without a lot of effort. My thoughts are jumbled and it is hard to get them out in a way that doesn’t leave me hitting “backspace” or “select all” and “delete”. I have decided that I should make my blogging absence official.
I figure I’ll post some of my archives on occasion and still pop in here and there, but I think it is better if I just go ahead and bow out for the most part.
Thank you all for your patience while I hemmed and hawed about this. I hope to get back someday in the not too distant future.
In the meantime, I would like to leave you with one last piece of advice from Eric’s Wife. Whenever I face anything like this and I start to feel a bit anxious, I just adopt my “Whateverdude, Jesus is ABSOLUTLEY coming back for me” Attitude. WA, for short. A Whateverdude Attitude is how I roll. Unless I’m on a scooter, and then that’s how I roll.
Susan says:
I will be the first to offer to purchase the horn for your scooter. Because people need to get out of your way! Let me know when you want it installed… I will be there in a heart beat.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Eric's Wife says:
I was really hoping someone would do the same service for me that my dear brother Nathan used to do. He would walk in front of me yelling, “Handicap coming! Make room! Handicap coming!”
Horns are too subtle.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Kim Heinecke says:
Well, that was truly one of my favorite blogs to read. Wish you and Susan woudl have made it to our town!!
January 8th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Anonymous says:
I know you so totally rock a scooter. You are amazing and beautiful and I love your attitude and hate your circumstances. Praying for you and looking forward to when you post.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
deleise says:
Sorry, that was me above.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Eric's Wife says:
Thank you so much, Kim and Deleise! Susan and I are so coming up there someday.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Anonymous says:
I would like to get you a scooter. Do you have your eye on one kind in particular?
January 8th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Darla says:
I will miss your blog… I feel like I just “discovered” you. But I’ll use this opportunity to go back and catch up on your archives.
I’ll pray that your health improves, and that you are able to return quickly.
Keep the WA.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Lauren says:
I blame all of this on Wisconsin! Out of my sincere love for you, I warned you not to go. I bet you’ll listen next time.
On a side note: Woohoo! You’ll finally be able to visit me. Scooters don’t require a license. Time and patience but no license.
Praying for you dear ’cause I love you.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Eric's Wife says:
Anonymous, I haven’t looked much, but I was thinking small and easy to transport. Thank you for the thought.
Thank you, Darla. I have enjoyed my visits to your blog as well.
Lauren, I also blame Wisconsin. Even though it started before I went there. I’ll be at your place mid-February.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Anonymous says:
I’m looking for one right now. Don’t buy one. Once I figure out which one, I’m getting you one.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Eric's Wife says:
I have no idea what to say. Thank you.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Anonymous says:
I am ordering you a Phoenix 4-Wheel
January 8th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Anonymous says:
If you don’t think that one will work, let me know. I am about to order it.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Anonymous says:
http://www.spinlife.com/Drive-Medical-Phoenix-4-Wheel-Travel-Scooter/spec.cfm?productID=83247
Here’s a link.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Eric's Wife says:
I just googled it and it looks great! I am more thrilled about the prospect of owning one than I can convey. Thank you so much.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Christy McDonald says:
Amy, you’re brave, and you’re strong and you’re absolutely right. Jesus is coming back for you. I’ll miss reading your blog during your time off, you have a great way of making me laugh and think all at the same time, but you do what is best for you and your family, that’s the right thing to do. My family and I will be praying for you. As I tell my husband with a chronic disease, God is bigger than this disease. He can choose to use this situation however He wants.
I heard something on KLOVE the other day that has made me think. And it’s way easier to pass this advice along instead of being the one to take it, but here it is. The pastor was talking about why bad things happen to good people. And he suggested that maybe we should look at it as “What can I do through this situation instead of why is this happening to me?”. I think you are a beautiful example of that, you have been sharing and ministering through your blog, showing how to rise above a stinky situation. Thanks for doing that, can’t wait to read when you start writing again.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Anonymous says:
So glad! The delivery estimate is Jan. 14 – 20. Just keep an eye out for it.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Susan says:
Wow, now I HAVE to buy the horn. I will get right on that.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Anonymous says:
Amazon has a ton of accessories if you want to hook her up!
January 8th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Susan says:
I am all over it!
January 8th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Ginger McBride says:
Amy,
My heart breaks for you. As you said, you have known since the beginning that this was a possibility, as have I. As I read this entry, I want to cry for you because I remember all to well the conversations about this exact future and how “not okay” with this you were then. I know that you are still “not okay” with this on so many levels. I have always hated this for you. Thank you for being an example of how to handle and deal with this. Christ is coming for you and Satan can have his horrible disease back and you, my sister, will have the perfect body we all long for you to have. I didn’t think my respect for you could go any deeper. I am wrong. I love you tons and will continue to keep you in my prayers.
To the Anonymous person who purchased a scooter for Amy- you are a true servant and friend of God. Thank you for blessing her in that way. I cannot imigane the expense of one of those things but I know that not having to worry about it would be a blessing to anyone. Thank you from one of Amy’s friends to another. Thank you.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Anonymous says:
Awww. Thanks. I am happy to do it. Amy deserves it!
January 8th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
craig in austin says:
May I say that I’m sad on multiple levels? I guess I just did. I’m not sure any of them are more or less trivial. I too will resort to back issues and I hope future run-ins. I’m praying, praying, praying. Grace and peace, my friend.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Natalie @ I AM (not) says:
I’ll miss you! Please keep with twitter!!!
January 8th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Kristen says:
I’m crying. I never cry. Clearly this should demonstrate my love for this blog. And for you.
I’m going to miss coming to here and reading your full out hilariousness. And also learning from you.
That being said, I get why you are doing this and am praying.
I always say, “One of these days the Lord is going to Enoch me out of this place.”
Even still, Come, Lord Jesus.
Much love & Dr. Pepper,
Kristen
January 8th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Andrea says:
I’ll miss your blog. It’s hilarious, thought provoking, and oh, so real.
I’m glad, however, that we’ll still have Facebook. And maybe Twitter. (You know you can’t get rid of us that easily!!)
Praying for you, sweetie.
January 8th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Theresa says:
So Love You!!
Praying Always!
January 8th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Sarah S. Chicken says:
I just want to say that I am SO THANKFUL that I get to see you in real life and won’t have to miss out on all the fun because of your not writing on your blog. I hope that scooter fits well in a Honda!
Love you friend.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Jenni says:
I am bereft. Just bereft. I wish I lived nearby so I wouldn’t have to be bereft of the humor, wit, and wisdom that I have come to appreciate in Eric’s Wife.
Have I mentioned how bereft I am?
Bereftedly,
Jenni
January 8th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Sarah S. Chicken says:
You should call me tomorrow and ask me what happened when I tried to look at accessories for your new scooter on Amazon. You’ll love it.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Sarah says:
I will miss reading your blog a great deal. I will think of you when I don my apron and attempt to grow some herbs.
For someone who has never met you, I appreciate your vulnerability in life. It has been entertaining, encouraging and challenging. And even in your final (for a while) post, you have done all three. I chuckle at the terror that can be caused by a rogue scooter. I am encouraged by your desire to take care of your family above all else. And I am challenged by your attitude through it all. Would I be so…what is the word? WA-ish? I could only hope so.
Thanks, Amy, for all of it.
January 9th, 2009 at 9:38 am
Lisa Emrich says:
Amy,
That’s so wonderful that ‘anonymous’ has sent you a scooter. I can’t think of a better blessing right now.
Think of the scooter as vehicle of power and life. It will help to keep you out-and-about with your family in your community.
MS can rob us of so very many things, but it can’t take your soul. That belongs to God.
Keep in mind that this may not be a permanent setback. Physical therapy can work miraculous things. I’ve seen that in some of the folks at the PT’s facility I go to. All the patients have neurological disorders and it’s truly inspiring to see what CAN be done.
You will be in my thoughts. And here’s a quote for you:
“Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders and says…
“Oh no… she’s awake!!”.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Chinell says:
I am going to miss your blog. Are you going to stay on facebook? Next year at the retreat I’ll hitch a ride with you around the grounds
You can always get a little cart to pull and you can scoot around town selling aprons…someone just has to make them though…OH SARAH, lol.
Take care of yourself. At least you are not in denial and that is healthy.
You may be scooting, but the Lord is carrying you.
hugs
January 9th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Shiloh says:
My dear friend Amy – I will not tell you a bunch of emotional crap about how you have taught me how to deal with my illness by how you dealt with yours. Instead I will tell you that I would gladly walk in front of you and yell for people to get out of your way the way your hilarious brother and my good friend did.
I would also love to buy you a helmet someday so I can decorate in bright crazy colors that reflect all that is Amy Dodd.
Love you!
January 10th, 2009 at 12:57 am
Sam says:
Amy,
I am sad that you will no longer be blogging. However, awesome about the scooter! You do have a good attitude at least on the outside, and I have always admired her optimistic nature. Keep strong!
January 12th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Briana says:
I will totally miss the blog, you are probably the wittiest person I know.
You are in my prayers and I am looking forward to a comeback.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Monica says:
I have really enjoyed reading your blog over the last few years. I will miss checking in to see what is happening but my prayers are with you!
January 13th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Anonymous says:
Amy, just wanted to let you know that the scooter has not yet shipped. But they still show it will arrive by the 20th. I will keep checking and let you know when they update the status.
January 14th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Anonymous says:
Amy, I am having problems with the seller. I am still getting the scooter for you – it has just been delayed. Just wanted to let you know the status.
January 18th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Deb says:
I’ve only recently started reading your website. It’s wonderful. I am praying that you are surprised by a miraculous recovery that gets you right back into writing. You have a gift.
January 18th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Anonymous says:
Amy,
I had to cancel the first order and re-order through a different seller. The new delivery estimate is January 26-29. Hopefully you will not end up with two.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Eric's Wife says:
I am sorry it has turned into such a hassle for you. I am still, and most likely forever will be, tickled pink. Thank you so very much.
January 20th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Anonymous says:
Amy! Finally it seems to be working out! You should get it on Monday!! Yippee! Oh, and it has not been a hassle, I just didn’t want to let you down.
January 23rd, 2009 at 9:24 am
Daesha says:
I think that by not posting, I have not been saying goodbye. I’m in denial. I look forward to your blog every day. “Did Amy post today?” You are so real, and you handle the challenges of mother-hood and wife-hood openly and honestly. I have loved your WA attitude – Jesus is certainly coming for us. And you are teaching me, and others, how to live WA-ly. I’ll be praying for you, and selfishly checking back periodically.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:18 pm