One Hundred: 2008 Edition

In 2007 I jumped on the list of 100 and made a list of 100 interesting things about me. It turns out that the list is really just 100 random thoughts that popped into my head in no particular order. I decided to not look at the 2007 list and make another one for 2008 and then see how much over lapped. Sound like fun? Let’s watch.

1. I’m not so much a “food person”.  I enjoy the occasional Mexican food meal or random snack, but on the whole, I don’t care for the annoyance of food and would like to have a caloric intake patch I could wear instead.
2. Eric and I dream about traveling the world some day.  I secretly dread having to try new foods in foreign lands and then I decide that we’ll never really go anyway and calm down.
3. I tried to throw eye exams when I was a kid because I really wanted glasses. *squinting* “Ummmm.  It’s uhhhhh.  ‘P’, I think.  Or maybe it’s a ‘W’.  I can’t really… I can’t really tell.”
4. Eric plays CounterStrike.  Sometimes I fantasize about secretly getting really good at computer gaming so I could make a fake name and then play him anonymously and beat him handily.  And then he’d be sad because a girl schooled him and then I would come to him from the other room and say, “I am that girl”.  That would be so awesome.
5. When I was very young, I remember deciding that Dr.Pepper would be a key part of my life when I was a grown up.  That is one childhood promise I’ve kept.
6. I’ve had insomnia off and on for the past 12 years, chronic for the last 5.  Four weeks ago I was watching a documentary about Stephen Hawking when I started to feel sleepy.  I got right to bed and have slept every night since sleep-aid free.  I don’t blame Stephen.
7. I really enjoy the study of quantum physics, string theory, and black holes.  Not so much studying it myself, but rather reading what other people who have studied it come up with.
8. I am convinced that I will live on a farm some day.  Or maybe I am just wishing so hard for it that it just HAS to come true.  Whatever it is, I’m going to be a farmer and wear cool hats.
9. I have a terrible poker face.  Terrible.
10. I really enjoy watching “Golden Girls” whenever I can.  What a terrific show that was.
11. I don’t like telling people what shows I like because I don’t want to have to answer for whatever allowances in morality I have had to make in order to comfortably watch the program without feeling those prickly twinges of guilt that maybe this show isn’t proper.
12. I like long sentences.
13. I believe that this quote is dumb, “Preach the Gospel and, if necessary, use words.”  Seriously?  “[I]f necessary”?  We’ve reduced the message of the Gospel to a message of being nice.  A lot of people are nice.  What separates us from them?
14. I could make a really good mixed tape back in the day.
15. I am barefoot throughout warm weather and in comfy socks in the cold weather.  I only wear shoes under great duress.
16. I have a fantastic belch that needs very little coaxing.  Call it a wasted childhood.
17. I talk to my dog.  And all my appliances.  And my computer.   I think people who do that are so weird.  Except for me.  I am not weird.
18. I think “Dude” is just as much a term of endearment as “friend”.
19. When I got my braces off, I was told to wear my retainer for two months 24/7 and then nightly after that.  I have yet to make it two full months.  I just have so much to talk about and I can’t emote properly with a lisp.
20. Five years ago we had only one car and Eric worked 96 hours a week.   My driver’s license was due for renewal and I let it lapse, thinking I would just get it renewed when I started driving again.  Turns out that I have to take the behind the wheel test and the written test first.  It was so much easier when I was 16.  I still don’t drive.
    
21. I live within walking distance to the grocery store and no less than TEN Dr.Pepper providing facilities.  I really have no motivation to take the driving test.
    
22. I make terrible chocolate chip cookies.  Even if I follow the directions exactly.
    
23. My favorite pizza is a spicy Italian sausage with green olives made by Mr.Gatti’s in 1999.  They have changed their recipe since then and I have not loved pizza since.
24. Every Christmas my Dad and I spend an evening at the food bank packing hundreds of meals.  I am not sure which one of us looks forward to it more.
25. It took me three years to tell Eric that I hated the cowboy boots he bought for himself.  He was just so proud of them that I couldn’t do it.  But someone finally had to.
26. When I was in middle school my music selection was strictly country music, Guns n’ Roses, and Acapella.  I was what some might call “hill billy”.
27. This is my favorite picture of me:
28. I think that my inability to sit still for a serious picture is in some way an indicator that I am not entirely confident in my ability to present myself without aid of character shading.  Some may call that pathetic, I call it the torture of genius.
29. I feel most certain that if I met me I would want to be my friend.  The only problem is that I would likely be intimidated by how awesome I am and then start to wonder if I really liked me, or if I was just having pity on me.  It would be a hard relationship, but I think it would work.
30. Several months ago I decided that I wanted to read Jeremiah.  He was a prophet under King Josiah, so I figured I needed to read 2 Kings to get a look at Josiah first, for context.  Before I could read 2 Kings though, I really felt like I should read 1 Kings and then 1 and 2 Chronicles because they make excellent companions.  Before I could get to Jeremiah at that point, it made sense that I needed to read some of his contemporary prophets, starting with Daniel.  If you’re reading Daniel, you may as well keep Revelation handy.  Long story short, I’ve read almost half of the Old Testament and have yet to get to Jeremiah.
31. I don’t live in what is classically referred to as a “nice” neighborhood.   One time I was out walking Charlie when I was propositioned for “work” by a truck full of “gentlemen”.
    
32. This is my all time favorite picture of where I stay at. You may be a little too blue blooded to know what this is. It is a hair weave accented by a dumpster in the background and the setting sun. I did not set this photo op up, but I did stop parking lot traffic for a full minute to get the shot before the hair piece was run over.
33. I get my hair cut and colored differently about twice a year.  I have never seen the value in picking a hair style and going with it for decades.  So boring.
34. I was a closeted cigarette smoker for ten years.  I came out about it when I quit because I was so stinking proud of myself that I just had to tell people.  (Unsolicited Opinion: The only way to quit nicotine is cold turkey with education.  I got my education at http://whyquit.com)
35. It has always bothered me the disdain with which we treat smokers compared with the compassion we dole on other drug users.  I guess meth junkies are a higher class of junkie than nicotine junkies.
36. I wish some network would give me my own variety show.  Not the Food Network, though.  We covered that already.
37. I do not like Oprah and I did not like her before it was cool to not like her.  She encourages a lot more anger, bitterness, and hatred than she does love and unity, though you could never convince one of her fans of that.
38. I am afraid that Oprah will find out that I just said that and then send Tom Cruise to assimilate me.
39. I feel sad for Katie Holmes’ parents.
40. I grew enough green beans on my patio to make the green bean casserole for Thanksgiving.  Raise your hand if you love green bean casserole.
41. I grew a water melon that didn’t grow big enough to eat.  When we cut it open, it had just started to turn pink in the middle.  I cried inside about it – though I didn’t let on to my family how sad it made me.
42. This pumpkin gave me hopes that it would be a Jack-o-Lantern.  Failing that, I hoped maybe it would be a pie for Thanksgiving.  He has failed me twice.  He gets no more water. 
43. I also talk to my plants.
44. I talk to my Mom for about one hour every morning except for Sunday when we see each other at worship services.  We are each doing in-depth studies in different parts of the Bible and we spend most of our conversations batting theology back and forth.  She is a remarkable mentor.
45. I still think it’s cool to use “air quotes”.  Though I have decided that it is no longer cool to spell skills “skilz” and precede it with “mad”.
46. I hate it when people use big words and you know that they know that it is not a common word and they are hoping that you don’t know it and that you will have to ask them and then they will act aghast that the American education system has collapsed to this degree and then they get (*squee!*) to tell you what the word means.  I never ask them.  I always make a mental note and then google it later.  I’m not going to give some jerk their jollies.  No sir.
47. I really love long sentences.  Seriously can’t stress that enough.
48. I remember looking at the countless yards of 8-track and cassette tape ribbons at each intersection and wondering what was on that tape.  It was like seeing stacks of information and I was quite curious about what was lost when that tape became unspooled.  You don’t see that sight anymore.  I don’t think my children have ever even seen an audio cassette tape.
49. I don’t love nature.  I do not feel any closer to God among trees than I do on my sofa.  I enjoy nature enough, it just doesn’t excite me like it does some.   I’d always rather enjoy it from behind paned glass.  My garden doesn’t count as nature.  It’s nurtured.
50. I never understood hiking or climbing for fun.  Seriously?  You climb all the way to the top just to have a looksee and then you climb back down?  You go ahead.  I’ll just stay back and guard the campsite against bears.
51. I have felt my whole life as though I am actually programmed to be a waited on princess but that my papers were somehow lost in transit and I wound up in the servant class.  Whenever I go to scrub a toilet, I always congratulate myself for playing along so well.
52. I get 1-2 migraines a week and I never have medicine on me.  Some people may call that poor planning.  I call it positive thinking.
53. I really don’t like movies that make me cry.  Crying over a movie seems awfully frivolous.  I’m saving my tears for something serious – like amputation with no knock-out gas.
54. On account of my chronic health condition, I am often approached with the latest cure.  Of course, it is not FDA approved, properly tested for efficacy, or even appealing in its congealed form.  All the same, it usually comes with glossy pamphlets loaded with testimonials from very satisfied patients customers.  You can trust the testimonials because these people include their first names AND last initials.
55. I used to always want plastic surgery on my nose until one day I was looking in the mirror and I caught just a glimpse of my baby brother in my face.  He’s gone now and somebody’s got to keep this nose in circulation.
56. I do not like cats.  I think they are elitist and tightly wound.  I am suspicious of people who only like cats and not dogs.
57. Many years ago I was in the hospital and given an I.V. dose of morphine.  I hallucinated that invisible hands were chopping stacks of wood on the ceiling above me.  It is the only time in my life I have ever hallucinated and I have often thought I was robbed of a better experience.  What’s cool about wood being chopped?
58. I hate milk.  I gag at the thought of drinking it and I get really unhappy when it’s spilled.
59. I believe pancakes were invented for the purpose of giving mothers everywhere an option when cooking is low priority and you still want to say, “I love you” with warm home cooking.
60. I don’t think you should call it a “dish washer” if you have to wash your dishes first.
61. Every time I wear a dress in the winter, I wish I was one of those ladies who wear tights all the time.  I just can’t pull it off, though.
62. I like to have the dishwasher running when I go to bed because it is like the house is singing me a sweet lullaby, “Go on to sleep, lady.  We’ll finish up in the kitchen”.
63. I don’t take nearly enough pictures of our life events.  I blame it on not having a nice camera.  But then, I bet if I had a nice camera I would have to find something else to blame it on.  I’d still like to try.
64. The electricity went out in our house for five minutes a few days ago.  I turned on the computer so I could see what time it was to reset all our digital clocks.  While I waited for it to start up, I fidgeted with my watch.  I said, I fidgeted with my watch.
65. You know how sometimes you leave your blinds or curtains open when it gets dark and you figure, “No biggie.  It’s not like anybody cares enough to peep in my living room”?  Well, if I’m outside walking my dog, you can bet I’m looking.
66. I once bagged all my neighbor’s dog poop and left it on her porch.  I lost my desire to be a passive aggressive jerk and threw it out before she could get home.
67. I use a PC because I don’t happen to have a Mac.  It turns out that this puts me in a class of people.  I had no idea and I still don’t know if I am a good guy or a bad guy.
68. I cut Eric’s hair and Ian’s hair, but I think it is time for both of them to start going to a big boy barber shop.
69. Eric and I have been married eight years.  We have used the same four pillow cases all eight years.
70. We do not have what could be called towel sets.  One of our towels is a Star Wars towel.  It has a scary face on it.  Two of our towels were mine when I lived in the dorms.  Three of our towels are survivors from our wedding gifts.  There are a few others I have acquired through lax hotel management one way or another.  I like my towels.  They say, “We have purpose even though we’re so ratty!”.  I’m still throwing them out the first chance I get.
71. I thought I was a really tough, break the rules, independent kind of teenager and young adult.  It turns out I was just annoying.
72. My eyebrows are platinum blond and I dye them regularly using Just For Men facial dye.  Men’s facial dye is about twenty dollars less than ladies.  Me and the fellas are cheap.
73. I believe that 99% of the stuff I see on infomercials will make my life substantially more comfortable and fabulous.
74. I like my cream and sugar with just the slightest trace of coffee.
75. My dog’s toenails are black and I am terrified to clip them.  Must. pay. professional.
76. My love for my son borders on romantic.  I already know where I will bury the body if some girl breaks his heart.
77. I totally crack myself up, but I really love an audience to laugh along.  Makes it more authentic.
78. I quit biting my fingernails years ago, but I still bite my thumbnails.
79. Eric bought me an awesome ring while he and I were in Santa Fe, New Mexico several years ago.  People notice and remark on it often.  Every time they do, it reminds me just how awesome Eric is for knowing me so well.
80. Sometimes I think I overuse the word awesome.
81. Eric owned his own sales office for about a year and I was his hiring manager.  I was really bad at it.  Not awesome.
82. It is not often that I laugh long and loud.  I’m more inclined to chuckle.
83. Anytime my toenails get painted, the paint stays on there until it chips off on its own.
84. I think Facebook is the third sign of the Apocalypse.  Or something like that.
85. According to Facebook, I have 23 readers.  Thanks, Mom.
86. My favorite kind of church music is the kind that lays on the pages of the old mustard yellow “Songs of the Church” song books.  When Ian was a baby, I would crack that book open and sing with him in my lap for hours.
87. I think Mackenzie Faye is just about the coolest little girl ever.  She can get so deep.
88. There’s been recent divorce in our family with the tag line, “At least nobody got hurt”.  Mackenzie cries about it and wants to talk about it quite often.  She’s more than a little concerned for all the other marriages in her life and suddenly her whole world has been rocked.  I guess she doesn’t count.
89. I think that frozen waffles from the toaster are just as valid as waffles made on a waffle iron.
90. I believe that Photoshop should be free and easier to use.
91. I am among the one in four women who sweat profusely.
92. The daydream I enjoy and return to the most is about when Jesus comes back and we finally get to stop missing our loved ones, struggling with hatred, and being uncoordinated in areas of swing dancing.
93. I live most of my life like there are cameras following me.  Let’s watch…
94. Sometimes I think that my dog can talk, but only in the way that the dogs on “Look Who’s Talking II” talked and only the viewing audience can hear what he says.  I suspect he has a surfer dude accent.
95. My favorite place to study the Bible is on my patio.  No matter the weather conditions, it is always more peaceful than inside with the kids.
96. If I had it to do all over again, I never would have dated or had a boyfriend.  What a total waste of time that was.
97. Eric and I never dated.  We just were.
98. I love a fire in the fireplace.
99. I think our family is on the last leg of being a two bedroom household.  It’s time to separate the sexes.  Not me and Eric, just the kids.
100. These are my favorite shoes