The year was 1997. Susan and I were freshmen at Lubbock Christian University. Huddled up in Susan’s upstairs dorm room, we cooked up the very first of what would turn into countless money making schemes.
I’m not going to go into great detail, but I will tell you that that first scheme involved loose fitting overalls and a scramble up the stairs with about thirty trial sized deodorants tucked in our pockets. As we hit the first step on the staircase, Susan stumbled a bit and one of the deodorants fell out the leg of her pants and skipped across the floor right past the attended front desk. We froze for only a second before racing to her room.
I will never forget that day. Susan was already the best friend a girl could ask for, but that day she became my scheming partner.
One late night in the dorms, Susan and I made a pact. We agreed that we knew nothing of what our future would bring, but we knew two things for certain about when we turned thirty: We would still be best friends AND we would be very tired. With that understanding, we agreed that we would take a nice cruise the year we hit the big 3 Oh.
What we didn’t realize way back then was that we were also relying on an age old assumption that most wide eyed 19 year olds make about the future: we would of course be very wealthy at 30.
Do you want to know something sad?
No? But you’ll listen anyway?
I was 26 and three quarters before I finally let go of that assumption.
Susan and I accurately predicted that we would still be best friends AND that we would be very tired and in need of a nice cruise. Our funds did not cooperate with the third and assumed prediction, so we put our Lucy and Ethel hats on and started scheming. It has been nothing but Lucy and Ethel-esque trial and error ever since.
Handmade paper? Scented, fabulous handmade paper? We put some time and money into it. More time than money. Very messy. Very time consuming.
Babysitting? This was my idea. My terribly flawed idea. I don’t like babysitting. I’ll do it for free all day long, no problem. But attach a paycheck to it and call it a job? My neck just tensed up thinking about it.
Baked goods? Photography? Party planning? House cleaning?
We’ll keep trying until we get a hit. Trying is half the fun.
For Mother’s Day, I was able to purchase a book that I hope will aid me in my latest scheme to make a buck. Now remember, I am not looking for millions, just enough to skirt around the Gulf of Mexico on a minimum of a three star boat. That’s all I’m looking for.
So, without further ado* (what on earth does that mean?), I present my latest scheme to live my dream before I hit the big 32 (I like to think I’ve become more realistic as I’ve aged).
According to the inside cover, there are FIVE MILLION copies of this book in print. Realistically speaking, that’s about TWENTY MILLION people who daily compete for writing jobs posted in this book (give or take a million).
Crunching numbers this way, I will be one of about nine billion people who will try this year to get a bit in the Reader’s Digest.
Will it work?
I don’t know. Care to watch?
*Thanks, Jenni.
Kim Heinecke says:
The Christian Writer’s Market Guide (Sally Stewart) is also the best resource for Christian writing markets. It’s probably similar. I think you can make more $$ in the secular market…
Dude, whatever you’re sellin, I’ll buy it. Seriously, whateverdude.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Eric's Wife says:
That’s the third purhase on my list. The second thing I want is a book on writing queries. The fourth item on my list is a green billed visor to wear whilst I type like mad into the wee hours.
Thanks for the whateverdude. You get me.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Susan says:
I have been watching for *gasp* almost 12 years. I will buy what you are selling. Too bad I ain’t got no money to buy it.
And the party planning, I am still all over that one…
May 13th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Eric's Wife says:
I stuttered a bit when I typed 1997. It was just yesterday and yet years ago at the same time. Twelve years. Wow.
I will let you plan my book signing party.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Andi Hawkins says:
Since I don’t even know you except by your writing, I would have to wager that you can do it. Most blogs I read because I know the person and that makes it worth my time. Yours I read because its that good. My childhood dream was to be a writer myself and here I am at 30 (gulp) and nary a credit to my name. You inspire me!! I will enjoy watching you write whatever dude.
BTW I love your new wordpress site. Is it expensive? How did you move your posts from blogspot?
May 13th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Natalie Witcher says:
I’ll watch.
May 13th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Eric's Wife says:
Andi, thank you so much for the encouragement. It is one thing when someone who knows me can hear my voice when I write, but it means so much more when someone who has never heard me speak can hear my voice through written word.
Wordpress is very reasonably priced and the transfer is easy. I only lost a few comments. I highly recommend WebEx Media (http://webexhosting.com/) to help with the job. They held my hand and made the whole thing very simple.
Thank you for watching, Natalie. That’s what BBFs are for.
May 13th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
deleise says:
I’m watchin’. And I am praying for a video of you in the green billed visor.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Eric's Wife says:
Susan called this afternoon and said she was already looking for one. Cross your fingers.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Monica says:
I agree with Andi. I do not know you but ever since I read a comment of yours on another blog and wandered over to your place I have been hooked. I check in almost daily because I love hearing what you are up to and your style of writing is excellent!
May 13th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Alyson says:
Amy! Write and do Pampered Chef with me to pay for the visor and other necessary materials. When you hit it big with writing, you can quit PC, but maybe you’ll earn your cruise for FREE while you’re PC’ing and you can take Susan as your guest! (Most people take their hubbies, but I’m sure Eric would understand, seeing as how a pact is involved.)
May 14th, 2008 at 8:24 am
Jenni says:
You can so totally do it, dude. Write, and sell your writing, and the world will shine with new brilliance. And then share with me how you did it so I don’t have to read that big honkin’ book.
Not that the world is actually capable of shining.
Hey, justsoyaknow…it’s “without further ADO” not the french “adieu” which means “goodbye”. ADO would be “without further fanfare/fuss/elaboration” which, you must admit, makes a lot more sense.
I just thought you might want to know that before you start writing with the cruise-ship-monies in mind.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Eric's Wife says:
My friend Sarah just reminded me that famous writer’s have good editors to catch such errors. Phew. Your comment ALMOST made me think about picking up my age old MLA style reference. Close call. All I have to do is be famous. Done.
Thank you for the encouragement, Jenni. Maybe one day you and I will sit all cool like on the beach with our lap tops and servants while we write the words that make the whole world just a little bit smarter.
Alyson, you are a go getter. A real go getter.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Sarah S. Chicken says:
I will be your pro bono editor until you hit the big time. But when you hit the big time I need me some of that money. Not that I’m greedy or anything. Far from it. I just don’t want you to get all big in the head…
May 14th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Holly says:
So nice to meet you! Thanks for saying hello!
May 14th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Eric's Wife says:
Thank you for keeping my big head in check, Sarah. You’re a real pal.
I’m glad you stopped by, Holly! I look forward to getting to know you better.
May 14th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Sarah S. Chicken says:
No one wants a big head. Especially me. It’s good that I’m so humble and quiet and demure. Otherwise I would be in danger of getting a big head myself. And that would be awful.
May 14th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Alyson says:
I go get. That’s my M.O.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Robin Meadows says:
You go girl! I’m a-watchin’! Go to a writer’s conference…you might just get your foot in the door at one!
May 14th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
nicole says:
If you want to make some quicker cash try elance. You could ghost write for an ebook or something.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:31 pm