I have heard it said countless times that there are numerous teaching moments with our children throughout the day and that we as parents need to keep our eyes wide open for them. From where I’m sitting, even if I keep my eyes all squinty, I can see about five such moments occurring every ten minutes.
I want to raise solid people with solid values. I want to seize every instant in which there is a heart lesson to be learned.
And also, I want to sleep and grab a bite to eat, paint my toenails, start and finish just one chore without stopping. You know. I want to just cut to the chase and take a short cut through the whole teachable moment process and get to the “just don’t do_____”.
A few days ago Mackenzie came into the living room with a box that she made out of printer paper and staples. She announces that she is taking up a collection that she intends to give to God.
She acted so solemn and reverent that Eric and I each tossed at least fifty cents into the collection box. It was worth a nickel here and there to see her curt nod of the head and tight lipped, “Thank you, my lady”.
I don’t know what the whole “my lady” thing was about, but it was all gone when she came to me the next morning.
“Mom, I’ve decided that I don’t want to give this money to God. I want to use it for something else.”
“But, Mackenzie, when you asked me for the money you told me it was for God. I thought you were going to take it to Bible class.”
“Well, I was. But now I have decided that I would like to keep it instead.”
“Looks like you were running a scam.”
“What’s a scam?”
“A scam is when you ask people for money and tell them it’s for one thing, and then you turn around and use the money for something else. That makes you a scammer.”
“Mom, can I just tell you that I changed my mind about giving it to God and I decided to keep it and you don’t call me a scammer?”
“Mackenzie, you can decide what to do with the money. I just have to tell you the truth when I tell you that if you keep it for yourself, it means you ran a scam. And that makes you a scammer. That’s all I’m saying.”
So there you have it. I got sloppy and called my kid a scammer instead of having a long discussion about lying and being a liar. It appears as though a lesson was learned, sloppy or no. Today she asked for money and told me that it was all for her.
haha..this is great! (you get to paint your toenails??)
I’m bettin’ she remembers “scam”!
Hey, don’t sell yourself short. The lesson was a vocabulary lesson and you pulled it off beautifully. You can do a character lesson another day.
Thanks for visiting my little slice of the web, Robin! I do bet she remembers scam.
“Vocabulary lesson”. Way to spin, Deleise. Thank you for that.
You have to give her props for being honest with you about the $$ the second time around. And I think that it was a character lesson that you taught her. She now knows she doesn’t want to be a scammer in life, that is an important life lesson for any child to learn!
I am WAY okay with taking the “shorter way out” sometimes. I just tuck it in the back of my brain and be sure to revisit it soon. She’ll probably be more understanding of the whole “liar liar pants on fire” discussion when you tie it back to her days as a grifter.
I think you handled it fine. The way I phrase honesty with my kids is to tell them “I need you to always always tell me exactly what happened. And I will always always believe you.”
Well, at least she got honest the next day. She heard you loud and clear! Tell it like it is sister.
Thank you all for your thoughts. Thank you Kim for the word “grifter”. It was on the tip of my tongue.
oh, the character lessons…so much more creativity needed than just “building” a follower who knows how to look around to see who’s watching before taking action. I think efficiency is lessons is great. calling a scam a scam seems perfectly logical to me and perhaps not spending 20 mins. to be sure she’s left with the warm fuzzies can help with the negative connotation about how it feels to be a scammer..???
)
anyway, I’ll day, as I’ve been taking my kid to appts., filling out forms, folding laundry, dealing with the insurance co. in between sanitizing the toilet I kept trying to remember your tag line…I knew it ended with, “I’m a professional” and I was trying to picture how Amy, (a Professional Homemaker) would handle a busy, jumbled day like mine. it was obvious I was missing the first part because I was in a mild panic all day…I’ll have to get better at remembering the whole things. perhaps I can adopt it as my new, positive focus quote and eventually learn to live it
Cat, I just loved reading this comment. I remind myself all day long that I am a professional. I really think it helps refocus me.
When I walk into chaos and madness with jelly dripping from the side, I straighten my apron, resist the urge to panic and work it like the professional I am.
But to be honest, I sometimes get real frazzled and scream in my head. It doesn’t work nearly as well as the professional mantra.