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About Eric’s Wife

Some may say I am a "Stay at home Mom," but that is not even close. I am Eric's Wife. I have exhilarating strokes of genius, followed almost immediately by paralyzing pangs of self doubt and, for whatever reason, here is where I blog about it - warts and all. I serve a merciful God with a clumsy hand and at the end of each day I go to sleep thankful to be His servant and Eric's wife.

"Thoughts During a Sermon" or "Why I Gotta Get Outta Here"

March 2, 2008

There are many positive things that can be said about eternity with Christ. I am looking forward to no more sickness, no more death, no more mean people. There is one thing I most look forward to shedding: Me. I am SO tired of me. I am tired of thinking about me and what I think about me.
To better explain, I’ll give you a tiny peek at The Crazy that resides in my head and what it was doing during a perfectly nice worship service this morning.

Me: Oh wow. I love this song.

The Crazy: Of course you do. You’re so spiritual. Aren’t you just a fabulous example of what spirituality is? You are just what God was talking about when He said…

Me: Stop it! Stop it! The last thing I want to think about right now is me. I’m trying to pay attention.

The Crazy: Unlike the fella three rows down. Did you notice him nodding off? He is such a slacker. You would never fall asleep during…

Me: Maybe he works third shift and he is doing good just to be here.

The Crazy: See? There you go. You are so forgiving of others’ faults. That’s very charitable of you. Practically a saint, you are.

Me: I am a very forgiving pers… Hey! Would you please shut up! I am trying to participate.

The Crazy: Just how much do you plan to participate? Are you going to raise your hands? You know if you do people will notice.

Me: Maybe I will raise my hands. But then, maybe you’re right. Maybe someone will notice and they’ll think I’m just putting on a show.

The Crazy: Just my point. Of course, maybe they will notice and think you are just as fabulous as I am always telling you that you are.

Me: Well then, maybe I’ll just raise them part way, so no one will notice, but I can at least feel like I raised them.

The Crazy: But then, don’t you worry that people will think that you are anti-hand raising? You don’t want them thinking you are judging them and their acts of worship.

Me: That’s true. I don’t want people to feel like I’m judging them.

The Crazy: Even though you do.

Me: Yes, I do. No! I don’t! Will you stop it!? You are making me crazy!

The Crazy: Am I? It’s very Christ-like of you to fight with me. You should be very proud of yourself for disliking me like you do.

Me: I am proud of myself, thank you.

The Crazy: But then, maybe you should be angry with yourself for being proud of yourself for fighting with yourself. Have you ever thought of that?

Me: Every day. Every. Day.

I am so ready to get to worship God and completely shed all of me. Won’t that just be wonderful?

10 responses to “"Thoughts During a Sermon" or "Why I Gotta Get Outta Here"”

  1. Sandra dodd says:

    I can’t wait to join you!… Maybe we both will raise our hands together and think about nothing other than our redeemer’s face for the first thousand years

  2. Amy says:

    And if I don’t raise my hands, but rather fall flat on my face, I know you won’t think anything of it. That’s the beauty of it all.
    It’s gonna be grand.

  3. Pryncss Briana says:

    your crazy person sounds like my crazy person. I think we all have one, personally. It’s annoying. =P

  4. Amy says:

    Good News, Briana! Turns out the crazy stays behind when we all get to Heaven.
    Almost makes living with the crazy more bearable when you know it’s not forever.

  5. Shug says:

    Can we also dance in heaven???

  6. Amy says:

    I bet money that if you want to dance, you can dance. And also, nobody will laugh at you.

  7. Sarah says:

    my crazy also revolves around the fact that I’ve sung up in front before, so I often converse with myself about whether I should be setting a good example to others. which is completely ridiculous.

  8. Kim P. says:

    I think we all have some “crazy” in us…mine seemed to multiply immensely when I had a child =)

  9. Brandy T. says:

    This is SO funny! I actually (out of habit) raise my right hand facing out and my left hand facing in because of just such a conversation in my head several years ago. As a young Christian, I watched others worship, and debated with myself which way my hands should face while worshiping – out or in? I decided on *both* Hehe… I can’t help but think the Lord kind of finds us humorous sometimes. =)

  10. William Love says:

    I needed to smile – thanks!