"Miss Amy’s Gonna Throw Out Your Bike!"

As I watched the apartment manager scoot away in her huff, I was struck with the thought that I was going to have to take responsibility for the bikes. They weren’t my bikes, but I couldn’t deny that the bike riding kids were always in or around my apartment. If I wanted to stop the nuisance, I had to keep the bikes put away. But, how?

I looked around and did a survey of where all the bikes lay. My eyes rested on a certain pink, mid-sized girl’s bike leaning against the fence. This bike belonged to a former tenant who still comes to my place after school until her Mom gets off work. I talk often with this girl’s mother and I knew that this bike was not in good riding shape on account of it’s need for new tires. Bailey, the little girl, had stopped riding the bike months before. The plan was to get her a new bike or a better used bike* and so this one was simply left behind in the move.

The neighborhood kids were often guilty of riding this lame bike and leaving it all over the place. It seemed odd to me that a bike with flat, bald tires and a torn seat would be such a prized item, but it was nonetheless.

Wanting to avoid further notices and seeing a good opportunity, I walked over to the bike and all the children watched as I picked it up and started to walk across the lot.

“Hey Miss Amy! What are you doing with Bailey’s bike?”

I chose not to answer and my stone silence deepened the mystery among the kids. I wound up with quite a group clustered behind me as I tossed the bike into the dumpster.

“Miss Amy! You just threw Bailey’s bike away!” several shout as the bike settles among the trash.

“That’s right, I did,” I say, making a sweeping gesture over their heads with my crooked index finger as I continue, “And I’ll throw your bikes away too if I see them left un-parked.”

I dust my hands on my apron and head inside.

It was a bit later before I was back outside. I saw a few of the kids stop what they were doing to watch as old lady Peterson’s eyes roamed the area for poorly placed bikes. My eyes landed just as theirs did on little Jay Jay’s bike.

I walk over to the bike (the brand new bike) and had no sooner laid hand to it than the clamoring of curious voices gathered right at my heels.

“Ohhhh, Jay Jay. Miss Amy’s gonna throw out your bike.”

“Please don’t throw away my bike, Miss Amy. Please.”

This is where empty threats get you in trouble. Of course I wasn’t going to throw away Jay Jay’s bike. I’m a bully, but I’m no tyrant.

I take his bike and simply lay it down on the stairs leading to his apartment. My theory is that either he will pick it up and put it away, or his parents might actually engage him in a discussion about where it goes. That was my real hope. Actual parental engagement.

I love all these kids. I really do. Even when I wind up with notices, scowls from neighbors, and all the tattle telling. I still love them. I have prayed to be useful in God’s Kingdom. That is my constant prayer.

Turns out that right now, my usefulness involves scaring little kids. And then giving them cookies. Cookies and fear.

*Any local folks with a lead on a girls mid sized bike in good shape for really cheap (or free)? I can promise it will always be put away properly.